Wednesday, April 21, 2010
A brand new baby is scary and unfamiliar...After having my fourth (in November), I had the same fears and uncertainties that I experienced with my first. The squeaking and gagging, and the incessant crying still freaked me out and made me worry. And, I really believe that both rookie and veteran moms do, and always will forever sleep light so they can make sure their newborn babies are breathing. Kacey, your sleep has changed forever...but that's what makes you a mom! Congrats and good job...you're doing great!! Please comment on your first days, weeks, months as a new mom. I'd like to hear your thoughts!
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Well, it's been a whirlwind of an experience. We planned on one kind of birth and just as life always does, it dealt us another path to follow... and that we did. In the end we came home with a healthy and beautiful baby girl that has changed our lives in so many ways.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right, Nicole, that my sleep has forever changed and that was a bit frightening at first. I was flooded with adrenaline and then with the decline of hormones as well as the unknown of how mine and Nick's lives would change. I think the unknown scared me the most and the best thing for me to think about were all the wonderful parents like you guys that have gone down this path and are on this path of raising a baby that love their families and still love their spouses. Our relationship was strong before and although it'll be tested, it'll remain strong as we raise our kids.
There was this one moment that I look back on that I'll never forget. I can look upon it humorously but at the time I was filled with confusion and the overwhelming need to cry. Nick had just made a beautiful birthday dinner and he was holding Lola as we ate and I just started bawling. I almost spit out my food because the cry came on so quickly. From that moment I had a few other "episodes" and then quickly began dialing. "Is this normal?" I asked my girlfriends with babies. "Oh yeah!" they told me and made me feel normal again. So, now that I've had a few normal days and some much needed rest, I can say that each day is getting better and better.
I do find myself waking up at 3 am wondering if I can really do this and then I hold that sweet baby girl and she make the cutest face and I forget all of my selfish frustrations for resenting having to wake up at this hour. So, I'll continue to post - as I find it a bit therapeutic to write about (thanks for having this blog, Nic) and hopefully we can have a place for moms to pour out their emotions and validate them, as well.
Life is Great! I have Lola all wrapped up in her Moby and she's sleeping...like a baby and I just love hearing her little breaths of air. She's gaining weight and eating like a little pig so I feel more confident about that part of the whole new baby game.
ReplyDeleteNick and I are getting a routine down and my anxiety about going out is slowing diminishing with each small adventure we go on. I just worry that I'll have a place to feed her and that she'll be ok and then I think about the moms in Africa who don't worry about that stuff and the great moms here who just wing it and it makes me feel better.
We are heading out on our first trip to Nick's parents' soon and that'll be a great/safe trip for us. Hey, I've got the food with me. What more do I need?